My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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