You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
