Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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