I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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