hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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