It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
