Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
