I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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