How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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