so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
