Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
