I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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