We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
