I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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