my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
