why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
