2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
