I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
