Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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