This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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