so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
