someone get that fucking seahorse.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
