one might say we're banned from that church
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
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Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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