Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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