Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I love you.
Bad choice
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
