He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
