Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize