I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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