Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
