no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
