He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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