That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
