I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
