I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
