It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
