Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize