Kiss
Puke
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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