Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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