from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
