she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
