Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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