Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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