the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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