Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
