this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize