Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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