I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
