Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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