OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
