Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
