You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
