so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
