I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
