dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize