What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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