People with herpes should wear stickers.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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