You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
