why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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