i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
