used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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