Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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