2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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