so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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