There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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